Accidental Woman
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Court Mandated Apologies
Mistakes
We all make them
But sometimes mistakes lead to great downsides, and that makes us sad.
Mistakes are how we learn and grow, so we can do amazing things.
When you think about it, shouldn't you be thanking us?
We're sorry.
You're welcome.
It could be worse
We are working hard to make your life better.
But our competitor, Black Mesa, wants to ruin your life. Since Black Mesa was founded 50 years ago, millions have died. Millions more have become sad.
What's your problem Black Mesa?
Apologies:
Apology #821.
Because of recent concerns with our new racially indifferent motion sensors, and debate over our new manual water fountains for those with dark skin affected by this indifference, we at the Institute would like to talk about diversity, and ask you to celebrate the fact that our system does see Hispanics, Asians, Pacific Islanders, and Jews.
Diversity
Just the thought of it makes us smile. We believe everyone works best when they work together. Even if they're just standing around.
Just like we enjoy varieties of food, we enjoy varieties of people.
Even though we can't eat them. At the Institute, we are committed to a multi-ethnic workplace. You can shake on it.
We're Sorry
Apology #820.
Please stay safe when using any Institute product, even the safest looking ones.
Attacks from hornets have become more frequent.
We can't be sure why these innocent people are being targeted, but some have proposed that the link lies in the victims' use of our perfume products.
This may not be true.
But it also could be true. In either case, we would like for our customers to use a reasonable degree of caution when taking any kind of action, including (but not limited to) using perfume.
Stay safe.
Be smart.
Live hornet free.